


It's fine.

by Eiznel24



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Kind-of Attempt at Suicide, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Sans is just a box of broken glass, SinHaremAssemble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 06:09:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10588035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eiznel24/pseuds/Eiznel24
Summary: It's not.





	

**Author's Note:**

> An EXTREMELY late entry for the milkman/housewife writer’s challenge. It was supposed to be smut, but it became decidedly NOT smut. Might be a secondary chapter later that includes smut.

Sans sighed softly as he watched the milkman walk down the path leading away his door, a spring in his step. When he reached his truck, he turned and waved at Sans, grinning so widely his eyesockets squeezed shut. Sans lifted a hand and nudged it to the side in a poor approximate of a wave in return. No matter how much he relished the other skeleton’s bi-weekly visits, he loathed spending more energy than was necessary. He sighed softly again, clutching the jar of milk in his hands a little tighter. It was warm outside, even so early in the day, and the coolness of the glass felt amazing against his bones. The perspiration on its surface gathered, beading and being pulled down by gravity to gather on the sides of his fingers. It wasn’t until the truck was out of sight that Sans turned and walked back into the empty shell that was his home.

It wasn’t to say that the house was unfurnished, no – in fact, it was furnished quite well, if not a little sloppily (housewife was he, but orderly and clean was he not) – but it felt devoid of life to him. Maybe because it was usually just him. He didn’t blame his husband, Stretch. The days at the research institute just seemed to grow longer and longer, and Stretch usually was only home long enough to eat, shower, and sleep. It seemed to take a toll on him, his attitude with Sans growing more distanced. He was just distracted, Sans figured. It was fine.

_‘no, no it’s not!’_ his mind insisted.

…perhaps not. He wasn’t sure what had changed. Stretch used to come home somewhat energized – at least, as energized as Stretch could be – talking about his work, his coworkers, his boss, anything that came to mind, and Sans would get into it, asking questions and presenting ideas of his own.

Despite his occupation as a stay-at-home wife, Sans was brilliant in his own right, self-taught in astro and quantum physics, chaos theory, and physical chemistry. He couldn’t rightly explain why he loved the subjects so much, but he’d wanted to know, and his position in life didn’t allow him the luxury of college. It was shortly before he was of legal age that Sans found himself homeless, no longer able to tolerate the abuse of his legal guardian, Gaster. He refused to acknowledge the monster as his father, for he acted like anything but, insulting and scorning Sans when he wasn’t ignoring him, striking him when Sans annoyed him, which had begun to grow a little too often for Sans’s liking. He ran after Gaster broke his arm in a rare fit of true temper, and the monster had never gone looking for him. The subsequent years found him bouncing from job to job until he was legal age, and then he worked three minimum wage jobs to support himself. Any spare moment was dedicated to reading, losing himself in numbers and theories. It was the same material Gaster had studied, and a much younger, much more naïve Sans had picked it up in an attempt to impress him, to bond. The bond had never taken, but the love of the material had.

That was around the time Stretch found him, or perhaps when he’d found Stretch. The tall skeleton had been idly poring over his class notes, looking bored out of his mind at the restaurant Sans worked at. Sans had glanced at the notes and instantly been intrigued, sifting through the information he’d already learned. His softly spoken question had snapped Stretch out of reading the same sentence for the fiftieth time, and he’d blinked stupidly, prompting Sans to snort in laughter and repeat himself. Sans began seeing more of Stretch after that initial conversation, eventually leading to dating and marriage, with a firm, impassioned promise from Stretch that he’d never have to work again.

Stretch had been different then, laid back but enthusiastic at times, sociable and kind. He might still be that way, Sans mused, but he had no way of knowing with how distracted and deflective he was.

_(‘how was your day?’ ‘Just fine, dear,’_ accompanied with a thoughtless pat on the head as he moved past.) Sans had tried asking if anything was wrong, but was assured that things were peachy-keen and he had nothing to worry about. And so to ignore the old demons that were clawing at his soul, and the sinking feeling that he was losing his life partner, he returned to his books, once more throwing aside his real life for numbers and theories.

Then Papyrus came along.

His previous milkman (a rather old and forgetful tortoise) had retired, and a bright and boisterous skeleton monster had taken his place. The first time they met, Sans was torn between feeling annoyed and feeling like he’d just been punched in the chest.

–

_*ding dong*_

_‘gimme a minute, gerson,’ he muttered, pawing along his folding table for his bookmark without looking. He stood, shuffling along to the door in his dark blue fluffy robe. Undoing the lock, he slowly pulled the door open and found himself wondering why Gerson had a shirt over his face; then he blinked once, twice, and found his eyelights traveling upwards, eventually locking on the dark sockets of a beaming skeleton that was probably only a fraction shorter than Stretch._

_‘uh…can i help you?’_

_‘GOOD MORNING! I HAVE BROUGHT YOU YOUR SUPPLY OF CALCIUM, THE BEST FRIEND OF SKELETONS LIKE US! ALTHOUGH NOT EVEN MILK COULD BE AS GOOD A FRIEND AS THE GREAT PAPYRUS!’_

_A part of him, unsettled and unused to the presence of other monsters, wanted to punch this ‘Papyrus’ in the jaw, take his milk, and go stick his face back in a book. The rest of him was struck dumb at the sheer amount of energy the skeleton was pouring off. They could probably power Mountain City for a month with this guy (their town founder wasn’t exactly…_ creative _with names)._

_‘…right. i uh…you takin’ gerson’s place?’_

_‘INDEED I AM!’ he boasted proudly. ‘GERSON FELT IT BEST TO RETIRE, AND I AGREE WITH HIS DECISION. OUR CUSTOMERS NEED THEIR BONE-FRIENDLY CALCIUM IN A TIMELY AND EFFICIENT MANNER, AND NONE ARE MORE SUITED TO THE TASK THAN I, THE GREAT PAP–’_

_‘yeah i gotcha buddy, no need to announce your name all the time,’ Sans cut off quickly. What was with this guy? Was his ego that huge? Or had he been knocked around a few too many times and felt a need to remind himself of who he was on the regular?_

_‘so. in the spirit of timeliness and efficiency, can i have my milk now?’_

_Papyrus froze, then wailed loudly, causing Sans to step back in alarm. What the-!?_

_‘PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I SPENT SO LONG BLITHERING THAT I HAVE FAILED MY DUTY. ALLOW ME TO MAKE AMENDS!’_

_Two bottles were shoved toward Sans and he grabbed them, wondering if he should just accept the extra bottle or shove it back and tell the monster to get lost. His voice was still ringing in his skull…_

_‘thanks, i guess?? i dunno if i’ll be able to finish it all, but might as well_ milk _this for what it’s worth, right?’_

_Sans observed the change in Papyrus immediately, saw how the monster’s shoulders stiffened and his eyesockets grew even wider._

_‘WAS THAT…A PUN??’_

_So that was this guy’s weakness? Sans felt himself begin to smile, something he hadn’t done in weeks._

_‘sure was. want an-udder one?’_

_If Papyrus had eyes, Sans was sure they’d be popping out of his skull with how hard he was trying to maintain a professional face._

_‘NO, THAT WILL BE FINE, THANK YOU THOUGH! I MUST BE GOING NOW – GOOD DAY!’_

_And with that, the skeleton did an about-face and prepared to speed-walk away from him. Sans felt a chuckle escape him and he blinked. Well that was…nice._

_‘hold up.’_

_He leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms, tilting his head as he watched Papyrus slowly turn around._

_‘you comin back in two weeks? that was my schedule with gerson.’_

_Papyrus straightened his spine and puffed out his chest, making another chuckle bubble up in Sans’s chest. He acted like Sans had just insulted him._

_‘OF COURSE I AM! I AM HONOR-BOUND TO BRING YOU YOUR SUPPLY OF CALCIUM! IT IS A SWORN DUTY AND I WOULD NEVER SHIRK IT!’_

_Sans raised a brow ridge._

_‘take your job pretty seriously, huh?’_

_‘I TAKE ANY TASK TO HEART, SIR.’_

_‘sans.’_

_‘I BEG YOUR PARDON?’_

_‘my name is sans.’_

_He could see the indecision on Papyrus’s face as he wondered whether he should actually use the name or not, and a pale orange blush sprouted high on his cheekbones. Sans blinked at that and felt his grin widen. Well_ that _was certainly pretty._

_‘don’t worry, you can use my name or you can call me whatever. either way is fine. but you should probably get_ moo _ving along, no?’_

_A strangled noise got caught in Papyrus’s throat and he quickly turned around, speeding to his truck._

_‘GOOD DAY, SIR!’_

_Sans chuckled again. That felt good. It was nice to laugh._

–

Papyrus’s exuberance was blinding, overwhelming, and it had a strange habit of making Sans’s soul flop in his chest cavity like a fish out of water. In what was an otherwise gray existence, Papyrus was a breathtaking splash of color. He’d grown to crave Papyrus’s visits, was nearly desperate for them. It was a break from the monotony, a break from the silence.

A break from the nearly crippling loneliness.

The time between visits were practically a blur now, though Sans really couldn’t call them visits, could he? He’d been doing his damnedest to keep Papyrus nearby as long as possible, asking questions and offering information freely. He’d come to slowly learn things about the skeleton, tidbits of information that he hoarded greedily.

Papyrus was five years younger.

Papyrus had served in the armed forces (he sheepishly admitted that he actually never made it past PT).

Papyrus was very fond of puzzles (though he once tried to convince Sans that the horoscope was one of the most difficult puzzles he’d ever encountered).

Papyrus’s favorite food was oatmeal with dinosaur eggs (how cute, Sans had thought, hiding his affectionate smile beneath his hand).

Papyrus’s favorite color was “the sky on the first day of spring”.

The list only seemed to grow longer, and Sans was beginning to think he knew more about Papyrus than he knew about his spouse. He smoothed his hands down his knee-length black skirt and tangled his fingers in the hem of his deep blue blouse. It was hard to remember when he’d started dressing nicely for the monster’s visits. He already wanted Papyrus to visit again. This was bad, he thought with a clenching of his jaw. He’d grown far too attached to a monster that was far too bright for a selfish, messed up monster like him. Who even knew if Papyrus didn’t have someone to go home to? Who wouldn’t love to be with someone like him? And why was he even thinking about Papyrus’s marital status? He was married! _‘for how long?’_ his mind whispered, and he froze, his fingers nearly tearing a hole in his shirt. That was a ridiculous thought.

…right?

He would need to think about it more, and carefully.

* * *

It took another 12 weeks to come to terms with his failing relationship. He spent his time watching carefully, listening, exploring various means to snag Stretch’s attention, feeling increasingly desperate and dejected.

He bought a sky-blue sundress with white and gold flowers scattered across the fabric.

_‘do you like it?’_

_‘Hm?’ Stretch looked up from a stack of files he was poring over and took in the outfit. Sans swore he saw a flash of wistfulness in Stretch’s narrowed sockets, but it was gone before he could be sure._

_‘You look lovely.’_

_And that was the end of that._

_He wore it the following morning, and Papyrus had been speechless for a moment before smiling so brightly Sans was nearly blinded._

He tried engaging in more displays of affection and coaxed Stretch to the bedroom. The taller monster agreed to it only once. The movements were somewhat robotic, and Stretch didn’t really seem to be looking at him. Sans felt unsatisfied afterward, and he had a suspicion that so did Stretch.

He again tried to engage more in-depth conversation, but it never got beyond surface level and if Sans had hair, he would have ripped it out in frustration. Another part of him, a part he regularly shoved down with uncharacteristic violence, said that the past was doomed to repeat itself, and he’d be a failure like he’d always been.

It had fallen apart when he wasn’t looking. He didn’t want to accept it, but what choice did he have? He sat quietly in the living room one evening as Stretch looked over more notes and drank a tea Sans had made for him. He breathed in, shutting his eyesockets.

“it’s not working, is it.”

Stretch paused, tilting his head ever so slightly in Sans’s direction.

“What?”

Sans gestured between them.

“ _this_. it hasn’t been working for a while now, has it?”

The teacup was placed down on the coffee table with a small ‘click’, and Stretch turned fully towards him.

“…What makes you say that?”

Sans huffed lightly, trying not to feel angry.

“kind of a ridiculous question, no? there’s…there’s nothing there anymore. not sure when, not sure why, but it’s _gone_. i can see it on your face that you feel the exact same way.” Sans grit his teeth together, feeling a surge of bitterness before he smashed it down. “you weren’t exactly subtle.”

Stretch said nothing for a minute, and Sans felt his shoulders drop when Stretch sighed.

“You make it sound like I did it on purpose.”

He stared incredulously at the other monster.

“you mean you didn’t?”

Stretch glared weakly.

“Of course I didn’t. It just…happened. I got really involved in my work and by the time I pulled my head outta the water, the spark had just…I dunno. Evaporated.”

“how long ago.”

“Huh?”

“how long ago was it that the spark disappeared? how long have i had to wonder?”

Sans watched as Stretch bodily cringed.

“…I don’t know. Months ago. I just kept up the idea of being absorbed in work. I mean I still am, but…”

Sans’s eyelights became glued to the ground.

“you’re kind of an asshole.” he remarked casually.

Stretch cringed again.

“I know. I didn’t mean to drag it on this long, but I didn’t wanna really admit that it was gone. You were trying and I wanted to try, too, but…I couldn’t.”

The wistful look on Stretch’s face flashed in Sans’s mind and he felt like laughing. So _that’s_ what it was. He supposed he couldn’t be too angry at Stretch. He was feeling the same way, after all. The causes were different, but the result was the same.

“So who are they?”

The other skeleton’s frame stiffened.

“What?”

Sans snorted, smiling crookedly.

“i’m askin’ who the other monster is.”

Stretch’s eyes narrowed.

“Sans, are you accusing me of cheating?”

Sans shook his head.

“nah, we’re both too lazy to take that extra step and cause that kind of drama. but there _is_ someone, isn’t there?”

Stretch looked down, clasping his hands together as if praying. After a long moment, he spoke. “There’s this monster that comes by pretty often with the wife of one of my coworkers. Best friend, apparently. He’s the exact friggin’ opposite of me – bright, energetic, loud, and such a social butterfly that it makes my head spin.”

Sans felt something like horror well up in his chest _. Please let it not be Papyrus, please let it not be Papyrus._ How twisted would that be??

“He’s maybe just an inch shorter than you, but he has a thing for boots, so he’s always up a few inches. Has a thing for bows, too, it’s kind of adorable.” Not Papyrus. Good.

The effect on Stretch was immediate. A warm, affectionate smile morphed his face into something Sans had never seen before. He thought he had seen a loving expression on the other skeleton’s face before, but this was on an entirely different plane. The guy was absolutely lovestruck. Sans thought it would have hurt more to see that expression directed at someone other than him, but he felt oddly numb.

“Incredible cook, too. He’ll bring tacos, brownies, these really great honey crisps. Definitely caters to my sweet tooth.”

Papyrus was a terrible cook. He’d found out first hand when Papyrus had brought a small porcelain bowl of his “world-famous gourmet spaghetti” and Sans had nearly spit it out upon tasting. When asked who had taught him, he said it was a combination of self-teaching and his best friend who was a military officer and apparently thought violence was the answer to everything. The following visit, Sans had given him a small book of recipes and a suggestion to watch the cooking channel and YouTube, with a smiling jab to take his friend’s advice with a grain of salt, which earned him a flat glare and a declaration of “YOU ARE UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE”.

“stretch…why didn’t you just talk about it? i mean you’re my hus _bone_ do, but you’re my friend, too. all this did was make us both suffer.”

Stretch snorted softly and his warm smile cooled to a slightly crooked grin.

“Nice one. If it bothered you so much, why didn’t _you_ mention something?”

“kinda gave you an opportunity really early on, and you lied through your teeth.”

“You didn’t press it.”

Sans raised a hand in a gesture that said ‘are you serious?’ “why did that have to be my responsibility though? you were the one that didn’t want it anymore. i had no idea what was goin’ on and wanted our relationship to be okay.”

“Sans…”

His raised hand flipped up to motion Stretch to stop.

“i’m not tryin’ to sound accusing. i’m just sayin’ if you didn’t feel it anymore, you should have let me know instead of making me wonder. It…kinda fucked with my head a li’l. you know one of my earliest goals was to make the folks important to me happy. it’s all i’d wanted as a babybones ‘cause that asshole was _never_ happy. and having you ignore me like he did…i dunno. i felt like that babybones all over again.”

Stretch looked stricken.

“Shit, Sans I’m sorry, I didn’t realize–”

“i figured. but it’s not your problem, it’s mine. at least, it is now.”

The taller monster wilted visibly.

“Yeah…guess we’re calling it?”

“yeah…we’re calling it. there’s not really any other option.”

Stretch looked uncomfortable.

“Guess so. What now?”

Sans shrugged, feeling the numbness in his chest begin to morph to feel a bit more like a void. He tried to analyze the phenomena and found he didn’t care enough. He tried to focus on Papyrus, that bright ray of light, and felt the growing void falter. He wondered how long he’d be able to cling to that light.

“Tomorrow I’ll go and get the papers so you can sign. I’ll also begin to look for a job, maybe try to put this mind of mine to use.”

Stretch looked even more uncomfortable than before. “I know I promised you’d never have to work again…”

“you kept that promise as long as you could.”

Tilting his head and rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, Stretch made an idle gesture with his free hand.

“Look, uh…I’ve been at the research institute for a while now, maybe I could talk to some folks and get you a job at a branch facility? You’ve got the knack for it.”

Sans felt his soul twist oddly in his chest. A chance to work in a field he loved?

“you’d…you’d do that for me? but i don’t have a degree or anything.”

“I’ve made things bad enough.” Stretch paused, looking down. “It’s the least I can do. Besides, they’d be idiots to turn you away. You remember how many times you helped me with my homework when I was in school, don’t you?”

Sans huffed softly to himself.

“there were times back then where i thought you had no business studying this stuff.”

“Just because you’re a natural genius…” Stretch muttered.

Sans chuckled.

* * *

The relationship ended on a neutral note, and Stretch began coming home in a better mood. It was a silent agreement that they kept any future relationships to themselves, so mentions of the Bedazzling and Brilliant Blue were kept to a minimum and Sans made no mention of a more-than-passing interest in Papyrus. A different part of Sans, however, the part from his childhood that he’d tried to keep down, felt that the impending divorce was unacceptable, that he’d not done enough to keep Stretch happy. How was he supposed to keep Stretch happy, though, when the kind of monster he wanted was so very different from him? He couldn’t change that much without no longer being himself. Despite that argument, that part of his mind refused to be silenced, telling him that he was a failure, that this would happen to every relationship. He didn’t make Gaster happy. He didn’t make Stretch happy. What was he doing wrong? As the days passed, Sans fell into himself. The finalization of the divorce was barely even noticed by him.

“Sans, you need to eat something. You look sick,” Stretch told him one day. Sans had stopped keeping track of the passing of time. What was the point? Something in the back of his mind screamed at him to snap out of it, that he should never be the one to put that look of concern on Stretch’s face, on Papyrus’s face.

“don’t worry about me,” he replied quietly. “i’ll be fine.”

“No you won’t. Just…here, eat this, okay?” And then a small pastry was pressed into his hands. It didn’t look store-bought. One of Blue’s creations, no doubt. He couldn’t make something this delicate.

_Failure._

With his head bowed so deeply, Stretch couldn’t see the tear that slipped down Sans’s face. He stood and placed the pastry on the coffee table.

“no thanks.” A second later, he heard Stretch curse.

“Sans, I didn’t think, I’m sorry—”

“it’s fine,” he cut off flatly, not stopping in his journey to the guest bedroom where he’d been sleeping.

It wasn’t fine.

* * *

Sans sat on the porch in a plain white blouse partially obscured by an open navy-blue hip-length cardigan. A thin black cotton skirt fell just past his knees, showing his legs and bare feet. His attire was a far cry from the more colorful outfits he’d worn in the past that garnered glowing compliments from Papyrus, and Papyrus was more than aware of the difference. The change was also reflected on Sans’s face and frame, his dim eyelights glued to the floor and his posture slumped. Papyrus wanted nothing more than to run up that pathway and sweep the smaller monster into his arms, but he was frozen.

Sans was a customer and despite their friendly banter, it had been a professional relationship. It should stay that way. But Papyrus would be lying to himself if he didn’t find himself drawn to the quiet snarky monster. He wasn’t sure why, though. _‘You know why,’_ he whispered to himself. He lived for Sans’s uncommon smiles and even rarer laughs. He loved Sans’s jokes and puns, even if he pretended he hated them, and he admired Sans’s incredible intelligence. The skeleton didn’t like to show it off much, stars know why, but when he began talking about space or some other science-y gobbledygook, Papyrus felt awe-inspired. There was a lot of passion there for science, and he wondered why Sans didn’t pursue it more aggressively. What was holding him back? Before he knew what he was doing, he was stepping out of his car and walking down the pathway that led to Sans. That empty look on Sans’s face was unacceptable, and if visiting him on his day off got him in trouble, so be it.

Papyrus frowned to himself when Sans didn’t even acknowledge his presence, still staring at the floor. In fact… Papyrus squinted suspiciously. Sans was entirely too still.

“SANS?”

No response.

“…SANS?”

No response. Papyrus felt a flash of fear. He’d never touched the smaller monster before, but…

He leaned closer, extending one hand before hesitating. Slowly, he removed one of his gloves and placed it against Sans’s forehead. It was cold, and he flinched back in alarm. How long had Sans been out here!? The beginning of winter was setting in, and the wind had a bite to it that pierced his warm reindeer-patterned sweater. Scrambling to put his glove back on, he hesitated for a split second before swooping down and lifting Sans in his arms. Maneuvering the small body so that it was held comfortably in one arm, he tried the door. Locked. Had he been locked outside? …or had he locked himself outside?

Papyrus wasn’t stupid. He knew what misery looked like, and despite his best efforts, Sans had been swallowed by it in the last couple of months. Gradually it had gotten worse, and now…this. What would have happened to Sans had Papyrus not decided to give in to his urge to see him again? He didn’t want to think about it. Shutting his eyesockets and apologizing silently, he turned and made his way back to his car, Sans as light in his arms as a leaf in the breeze. He deposited the skeleton in the passenger seat then walked around and sat in the driver’s seat, turning on the car and cranking up the heat as high as it could go.

What should he do, he wondered. Should he drive to the hospital? Should he stay here and see if the heat from his car would revive Sans? Should he go home? His grip tightened on the steering wheel, the leather of his gloves crunching audibly.

Keeping Sans in the car could prove to be fruitless. What if something else was wrong? He considered the hospital. It would be the most logical choice. Hospitals had gear he could never dream of having, but what could they really do? Hospitals couldn’t fix maladies of the mind, and if it was what he feared, hospitals were rarely able to treat that, either. The will of a monster was a delicate thing, not easily swayed by strangers. All the magic and medicine in the world could not save a monster that did not want to be saved.

Clenching his jaw, he turned the car around and started driving back the way he came. The hospital was the logical answer, but logic wasn’t his strong suit. He glanced at Sans and felt his soul clench painfully.

“NOT YET, SANS.”

* * *

His apartment was tiny, at least compared to Sans’s house, but it was meticulously kept with sparse decorations. His room was likely the loudest in the apartment, lined with shelves and the walls covered with things that held his interest. Perhaps he’d show Sans later. But for now…

He placed Sans on his couch as delicately as possible and pulled a chair from his practically nonexistent dining room to the couch. Papyrus sat down, staring at the limp form in front of him, the eyesockets of the other monster having fallen shut on the way over. What did he do first? Did he get prepare tea? Did he try to talk to Sans? He’d never been in a situation like this before. Breathing in, he tried clearing his head. Panicking would do no good. He remembered the words of his guardian and breathed in again, slower this time.

_Do what feels best, child. More often than not, your soul will guide true._

What feels best? He dragged his gaze from Sans’s lax features to his chest and felt his soul clench, only marginally less painfully than before. He took his gloves off and placed them on the arm of the couch, then reached forward, placing his bare hands on top of Sans’s chest. Papyrus bowed his head, mentally apologizing again for what he was about to do. What other choice did he have? Checking another monster against their will was invasive and usually done only under extreme circumstances, such as a life-or-death battle or medical emergency. As he analyzed Sans, he felt his bones bleach of color, his eyesockets growing wide with horror.

HP: 0.1/1

Papyrus’s right eyesocket burst with a surge of orange magic like a sunflare and his hands lit with healing magic. Perhaps it was overkill, but Papyrus was hardly thinking clearly. Why did Sans only have one HP!? He bent over Sans’s prone body, his eyesockets squeezed shut, wisps of orange magic curling upward and disappearing. He mentally projected his voice, willing Sans’s soul to hear.

_SANS…SANS PLEASE LISTEN TO ME…I KNOW YOU’RE STILL THERE. I WILL NOT LET YOU GIVE UP! YOU ARE STILL NEEDED! I NEED YOU! SO PLEASE, ACCEPT MY MAGIC. LET ME PULL YOU BACK. STAY WITH ME._

Papyrus knew his soul was glowing brightly through his sweater, and for a moment he thought he saw a responding blue pulse beneath his hands, but nothing came afterward. He pressed down slightly, feeling the fear he felt earlier trying to wrap around his soul. He cast it aside angrily and felt tears gather at the corners of his eyesockets.

_SANS, PLEASE. DON’T LEAVE ME BEHIND. NOT WHEN I JUST FOUND YOU._

_…_

_PLEASE…_

_…_

_…papyrus…_

Papyrus felt a quick and violent pull at his magic, causing him to grit his teeth, but it faded and when he opened his eyesockets, Sans’s soul was pulsing slowly beneath his fingers in a shade of blue that he automatically identified as his favorite.

Sans

HP: 1/1

“Thank goodness…” he whispered. He took several deep breaths and froze when he heard a small exhale of air.

“…why?”

“DID YOU NOT HEAR WHAT I SAID?”

“…i did. but why?”

“WHY NOT?”

Sans tried to move, but Papyrus held him down with a hand on his shoulder.

“YOU WILL LIKELY FEEL WEAK FOR A WHILE. I WOULD RATHER YOU STAY STILL FOR THE TIME BEING.”

The smaller monster tried pushing against Papyrus’s restraining hand, but fell back with a soft sigh.

“i’m not worth it.”

Papyrus wasn’t sure whether to be angry or sad.

“WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU SAY THAT?”

“because it’s the truth. i can’t keep anyone happy. i’m just a failure,” Sans replied with a shrug, ignoring the strange look Papyrus was giving him.

Why would he believe that?

“YOU MAKE _ME_ HAPPY.”

“you haven’t been around me long enough.”

“I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY YOU COULD MAKE ME UNHAPPY. WELL…UNLESS YOU TOLD ME YOU HATED ME. THAT MIGHT…HURT A BIT.”

Sans huffed shortly.

“i’d be insane to hate you. and it’s probably impossible.”

“OH I’M FAIRLY SURE EVERYONE HATES ME.”

At this, Sans’s eyelights locked on him, narrowed incredulously.

“bullshit.”

“LANGUAGE!”

Sans ignored him.

“there is no way you’re hated by everyone. you’re a ray of friggin’ sunshine,” Sans insisted.

Papyrus smiled softly.

“ONE WOULD THINK SO. AFTER ALL, WHAT COULD ONE DISLIKE ABOUT THE GREAT PAPYRUS!? BUT…” his voice dropped, and his smile became rueful. “It’s quite easy for people to hate me, it seems. I believe the only people who still tolerate my presence is Undyne, my guardian Toriel, and you. It usually comes down to a declaration that I am unforgivably annoying, loud, and full of myself.” Papyrus huffed, crossing his arms indignantly. “Of course I’m full of myself, who else would I be full of?”

Sans bit back the instinctual urge to make a dirty comment, and nodded slowly. He saw that Papyrus’s eyesockets had nearly fallen shut, looking far too sad for Sans’s liking.

“I don’t see my guardian much anymore, and Undyne is constantly traveling. So I guess really all I’ve had for all the months I’ve known you is…well, you.”

“that’s gotta suck. i’m not exactly the best company.”

“I think you’re wonderful company,” Papyrus murmured.

Sans felt his face heat up and Papyrus immediately brightened at the sight of the blue flush.

“YOUR MAGIC IS MY FAVORITE COLOR, DID YOU KNOW?”

His flush darkened.

“what?? don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’M NOT RIDICULOUS, I’M PAPYRUS.”

Sans couldn’t resist snorting in laughter and Papyrus felt his insides warm at the sound.

“I MEAN IT, THOUGH. I NEVER NOTICED BEFORE, SINCE I’VE NEVER GIVEN YOU REASON TO SHOW YOUR MAGIC COLOR, BUT I THINK IT’S QUITE SPECIAL THAT IT’S SUCH A LOVELY SHADE OF BLUE.”

“not as pretty as your magic…” Sans muttered, and Papyrus felt like he was floating. Sans thought the color of his magic was pretty?

“I…Y-YOU MUST BE THIRSTY. ALLOW ME TO MAKE YOU A TEA. YES, I SHALL RETURN SHORTLY, YESSIREE.”

And before Sans could poke more fun at him, Papyrus had disappeared into another room, clanking about loudly. Sans took his time to take in his surroundings and decided that this must be where Papyrus lived. It was…surprisingly plain. He figured there would be a riot of color, but the only color he saw was a single potted plant on the dining room table, meticulously pruned and its flowers a vivid yellow. Everything else, aside from the walls which were a soft cream color, was calming earthy shades that had him relaxing minutely. Spartan, but good taste, he decided.

Why was he with Papyrus anyway? Last he remembered, he’d watched Stretch leave for work and he had gotten up to sit on the porch. He’d been so tired…he just wanted to sleep. No more pain. No more rejection. He felt his soul thump hard against his ribcage and he placed a hand against it gently. Tears slipped quietly out of his eyesockets and he breathed deeply, trying not to let the void consume him again. It wouldn’t do to stress Papyrus more.

“SANS, DO YOU LIKE –”

Sans tried to hide his face, but was too late. He felt Papyrus’s much larger hand grab his and squeeze softly.

“Sans, please speak to me. Why are you upset?” Papyrus hesitated. “Why were you out in the cold for so long?”

“…i wanted the pain to stop.”

This was dangerous territory. Papyrus tried to word himself carefully.

“Could you possibly explain why you’re in pain?”

“it’s a long story.”

Papyrus shifted and squeezed Sans’s hand again. Sans weakly squeezed back.

“I have all the time in the world.”

Sans stared at him for a long moment, then turned his head away and began speaking.

“…i didn’t exactly have the best father in the world. doesn’t deserve the title, really. he did a lot of things i’d rather not talk about. there’s probably no one else on this planet that i hate more. but there was a time where i loved him, where i wanted nothing more than for him to recognize me as his son, to encourage me and treat me like i wasn’t a pariah.” Sans had clenched his other hand into a tight fist and Papyrus grasped it gently, working steadily to loosen his fingers. His eyelights stared straight at the ceiling and were blank, betraying none of the emotions that his hands unfortunately couldn’t hide. “it didn’t work. he ignored me, cast me aside, despite everything i did to try and make him happy. i left when i couldn’t handle it anymore.”

Sans had always seemed so laid-back and content. He’d been hiding this the whole time? Papyrus wasn’t sure how he felt. Normally, he was a very forgiving monster, able to put aside any wrongs for the sake of seeing the good in someone. But to know someone had hurt Sans so badly, and had been a parent at that…

“I’m sorry…”

Sans continued as if Papyrus hadn’t said anything, which led Papyrus to believe that Sans was treating the story as a bandaid and ripping it off in one go.

“i did what i could to survive until i came of age, but that never really bothered me. i was used to being on my own. as soon as i was able, i worked as many jobs as i could so i could have a real place to stay. after that, it was just a blur of time. not sure when, but somewhere in that muck of days, i met someone, this nerdy college kid. his work was on stuff i was interested in, so i mentioned it, and we started seein’ a lot more of each other. i thought that was it, yknow? the end. the person i’d spend the rest of my life with. up until…i dunno. some time ago, i still believed that. may have been weeks, may have been months.”

Papyrus felt his proverbial guts sink.

“he changed a couple years into the marriage. stopped talkin’ to me as much as he did before. i thought maybe he was just busy. every day that went by he got more distant, no matter what i did. and it just felt like i was with gaster again, constantly pushed aside despite how much i gave a damn.” Sans snorted, his expression twisting into an ugly sneer and his left eyesocket flickering with icy blue magic. “didn’t matter in the end. he’d stopped giving a shit about me and become interested in someone else. part’a me isn’t angry about that at all, since i started craving having you around like a crack addict craves fixes, but another part…the broken ugly part…says that it’s my fault, that i couldn’t be what he needed. and i let that part win, because it’s right.”

Sans felt a hand grip his chin and turn his face to lock gazes with Papyrus. He felt a chill go down his spine looking at the steady outpour of fiery orange magic coming from Papyrus’s right eyesocket.

“I WANT YOU TO THANK YOU FOR SHARING SUCH PERSONAL INFORMATION WITH ME, BUT I’M AFRAID I’M GOING TO HAVE TO BE VERY FIRM WITH YOU IN SAYING THAT YOU WERE WRONG.”

Sans felt his eyesockets widen.

“what?”

“YOU WERE WRONG TO LET THAT PART WIN. PERHAPS YOU FOUGHT IT, PERHAPS YOU DIDN’T. IN ANY CASE, YOU BELIEVE IT IS RIGHT, THAT YOU CAN’T MAKE OTHERS HAPPY, BUT YOU ARE WRONG. SANS, I KNOW THIS MAY BE DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND,” The hand gripping Sans’s chin shifted to cup the side of his face, the thumb grazing against his cheekbone. “BUT YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT. YOU NEVER HAVE BEEN.”

Sans blinked owlishly, not quite accepting the words.

“you’re right, i don’t understand.”

Papyrus’s features set in determination and he leaned closer to Sans, causing the other skeleton to blush.

“uh…”

“YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT, AND I WILL PROVE IT TO YOU, ONE DAY AT A TIME, FOR AS LONG AS I HAVE TO.”

Sans felt tears gather again and tried blinking them back to no avail. He tried laughing, but it sounded more like a sob.

“you might end up sacrificing the rest of your life tryin’, paps.”

“THAT IS A SACRIFICE I AM MORE THAN WILLING TO MAKE.”

Maybe it’d be fine after all.

**Author's Note:**

> ALRIGHT, SO. That was probably riddled with all kinds of shit, and I apologize, buuuuuuuuuut this is what my brain cooked up when I tried thinking of gentle smut. Whoops. I was thinking of doing a continuation where there’s actually smut. Lemme know what you think.  
> For any missing explanations: the reason Sans didn’t get a job right away. He was doing his best to fight off that pesky demon, and Stretch was having a hell of a time convincing higher ups that Sans was just as qualified for the job despite having no degree or even a modicum of formal education. The reason Sans is still living with Stretch even after the divorce is finalized is…Stretch may have fallen out of love with Sans, but he isn’t an asshole. He knows what Sans went through growing up and he’s not going to even suggest Sans leaving until he’s absolutely certain Sans can support himself. Even if they’re not married anymore, Stretch still sees Sans as a friend. Yes, Sans locked himself outside on purpose.


End file.
